Holy Baby News!

It all started with an emotional breakdown in the late evening. Alone. In front of my computer screen. I had let all the boys go to bed, including Scott, before actually letting the tears run down my cheeks. That should have clued me in, but yet, I just thought life was WAY stressful and PMS sucks.

Then, when my period didn't come, I just thought it was stress in life that held it up. I mean, it's happened before. Okay, maybe not four days out, but still. It was supposed to come any minute.

So, I took a pregnancy test. And for the first time in my entire life, I saw a "plus" sign.

I stood there staring at the pee stick, mouth agape in disbelief. I've never in my whole life saw a "plus" sign. It had to be a joke.

I leave the bathroom and walk into the hallway. My voice squeaks out, but Scott hears it above the voice of Connor and Zach playing in the house. "Um, Honey. Come here for a second. I'm having high anxiety."

Scott peeks around the corner, a kid-size guitar around his neck, "What is it?"

He follows me into the bathroom, and I just point at the stick laying on the bathroom counter. He looks at me and smiles a huge smile. "Really?"

"Really... And I'm freaking out a little bit."

"Everything's fine. Life is going to be great." He also says some other encouraging and wonderful things that I didn't hear because I was still staring at the pregnancy test and letting it all sink in.

I am going to be a real mother to my child. Not a boyfriend's girlfriend to his kids. Not a stepmom to Scott's son. A real mother. To my OWN child.

After I demanded that Scott go to the store and buy three more tests, and after I peed on them to get the same quick positive result, I laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Aside from panic of reality that I don't have a job, and aside from the fact that there probably won't EVER be a good time for bringing a child into this world, we both know that is going to be great. An absolutely REALLY awesome thing. And we can't wait.