I was in a store, looking for a greeting card for a friend, when I unexpectantly passed by the "Congratulations on Your New Baby" section. I froze, my throat went tight, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't feel my legs. I slowly closed my eyes and took a deep breath from my stomach and swallowed the large lump in my throat back down into the confines of my heart. I quickly grabbed a nice greeting card, paid the casier, and got back into my car. Once there, the tears could flow down my cheeks, free from strangers' eyes.
Those kind of reminders are hard. But then, something great happens that puts a small piece of light back in your heart.
We have been in contact with a infertility specialist, someone who has heard of a "bicornuate uterus", who is interested in our case, who already has theories about our situation.... and who we will meet with later this month. I have talked to him on the phone, and hearing his condolences, and then his first impressions of our situation, he believes that my uterus is repairable. That we can go on and have a full-term pregnancy. And this makes us smile.
As well, Scott and I decided that we should take a trip to celebrate my upcoming 30th birthday. We are going somewhere that means a lot to us, a place we visited when we first were getting to know each other. And the excitement of this trip has us giddy with the excitement that we had two years ago when we planned our first trip there.
The pain is easier to let go if we have answers to the unknown and options for the future. And like Scott says, it is also easier because we have each other.
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