Without drugs, I have found peace.

"Honey, you haven't blogged lately."

That prodded me. Life has been so busy that a little reminder from Scott that I haven't updated my very public internet family update line has me writing this.

With less than a week and a half to go before the wedding, I've transitioned from freaking out about the little things... to getting excited about it all. And it feels good. I have a lot of reminder calling to do for vendors, but it's not daunting. For some reason, I've found a balance. And it feels good.

Despite the fact that Scott is stressed for money, that we are going to attempt to sell the house for cheap after the wedding, that he is pushing around the idea about switching careers... he is holding up pretty good too.

We've had RSVP's come in from family and friends who I WANTED to be there, but that they just can't. And we've been surprised at a few other RSVP's of people that we thought WOULDN'T make it.

At night, we just lay in our big bed watching renting Soprano episodes. I relish in the fact that we have a roof over our heads, that we have heat, that the cable hasn't been shut off, that we are together next to each other, and that the wedding, for the most part, is paid off.

I guess at this point, it is just nice to... just be.