"Gawl, I just love her scalp massages. It feels good, even when she scratches my head. I wonder if I should tell her how great it feels. But then she may keep concentrating on my scalp when I need to to loosen up my back muscles...
Oh crap, I forgot to turn my cell phone to vibrate. I’m going to be so embarrassed if it rings. Do I get up and expose my boobs to turn it off if it rings? No, I’ll just tell her to let it go. I hope it won’t be too loud. It’s not even a soft, massage-type ring. It’s loud and jazz-like. I should probably change my ringtone sometime soon anyway...
My lunch salad is sitting in my car, I hope it doesn’t get too warm. I think it was 50 degrees outside when I came in. Is that too warm for a salad? I wonder what the temperature inside a fridge is...
Oh crap, I have a 4:30 appointment at Macy’s for wedding makeup. I really can’t wait to have them put makeup on me. That will be fun to be pampered some more. But then again, we can’t afford to buy any makeup right now. I need to cancel. I don’t have their number, oh but I can look that up online when I get back to work. I just need to remember… Macy’s, macy’s, macy’s. I can't forget...
My shoulders are so tense, I just can’t relax. Gawd, I can’t stop thinking. This is freaking ridiculous. When is my psychologist appointment again? I should let him know how frustrating this is that I can’t stop thinking. Dang.
Her fingers feel so good on my tense muscles. Ouch, my shoulder is really sore. That kind of hurt, but there she goes down my back. Ahh...
Camping this weekend should be fun. We really shouldn’t go though. It’s probably $200 that should not be spent. Stupid 14-day cancellation policy. But then again, life is short. These are good times with Connor that he won’t forget. We will have fun in the hot springs swimming pools. Have wine and smores in the evening. I hope it's not too cold, but it's probably a good thing anyway that we have the RV now. The dogs always get so excited...
I’m so happy that I finally bathed those dogs. They are finally white again, not dingy brown. I can’t believe Rosco this morning, pulled that dead mouse that was caught in the mousetrap out of the cupboard. Gross. But I’m glad the mouse is dead. Stupid mouse, eating our Doritos and pooping in the cupboard. Disgusting...
I wonder how Nanci is doing, she looked so frazzled yesterday. Her mom really gets to her, it’s kind of funny. I would never tell HER that though. I should stop into her work on the way back from my work if I have time. I wonder if she is still as stressed out as I feel. That’s so funny that we both went off our anti-anxiety medicines about the same time. At least we both have someone to talk to who relates to the extra stresses we feel...
Hopefully Scott is doing okay. He was feeling so sick and looked so pathetic on the couch when I went there at lunch. I hope the soup I gave him an hour ago is still in his stomach. I should have taken Connor to school so Scott could rest. Oh well, maybe Connor can lay down for a nap. I should call Scott and suggest a nap for Connor...
I hope that Scott gets paid from that stupid contractor today. We really need the money. I wish that his income was steadier. Stupid housing market. I wonder if he should just bag the whole drywall business and pursue something else. I guess that’s his decision to make...
How do I just TURN OFF my mind? I want to just relax. Wine does that for me every time. How is it that something so simple can relax my mind? That’s probably why there are so many alcoholics out there...
I love that Intervention show. I wonder how that one guy is doing. The one with the little baby. I hope he’s still clean and living for them. Working hard, making money, his wife and young daughter deserve that...
I love it when she massages my arms and hands. I should tell her that I love the pressure points in my hand massaged. It feels so good...
I hope that the gal at work that is working on my park project is doing okay. I wonder if she has any questions regarding the design yet. She’s probably okay, but if she does have a question, I guess she’ll see that I’m not there. Hopefully she doesn’t think that I’m a flake because I took an extra long lunch today to go home and then to my massage. Oh well, maybe I am a flake. I wonder where we are on the budget for the project. I should make sure that we have enough budget for me to have her work on the project with me...
If my other project, the school project, has the team meeting scheduled for Monday morning, I should probably bring donuts. I could get them from Westside Bakery, that's always a good place. Or Safeway, that would be cheaper. I guess if it’s scheduled that afternoon instead, I will bring cookies or something. I wonder if the architect has emailed me back on the time for the team meeting yet. I'll have to check when I get back...
This is so annoying. All these thoughts, how do I stop them? I bet my brow is furrowed, just like Scott says it does when I’m thinking too much. I wonder how my face looks when she is massaging me...
Okay, that's it. I’m going to WILL myself not to think…. Okay, DON’T THINK. SILENCE MY BRAIN...
But then again, I guess I'm still thinking. I’m thinking about not thinking… This is so ridiculous, I should blog about this. But then again, an insight into my brain could leave me vulnerable to online people. But then if I do blog about this, I could just print it out for my psychologist. When is that appointment again? I wonder if I should just get back on the medicine. Why can't I just silence my own brain. Ugh...
Crap, my phone isn’t silenced. I hate that I forgot to put it on vibrate or something. I guess I just can’t worry about it. There is nothing I can do. If someone calls, they call. And I guess I will just tell her to ignore it, just like I decided.
Hey, that reminds me. That one guy never called me back about the hotel block confirmation for our wedding guests. I wonder why. It's probably fine though...
Oh, there she goes on my scalp again. It feels so good, but she’s doing it so much this time, I’m nearly getting a headache. My hair is going to be greased up, but it’s SO worth it…"
3 comments:
Mandy, Mandy, Mandy...I bought Sharna a CD on meditation. I have tried it a little bit, and it is hard, but the key is to concentrate on your breathing and when your thoughts wander, bring them back to your breathing - WITHOUT BERATING YOURSELF.
There is a book about Tourette's Syndrome titled, Don't Think About Monkeys. While the underlying causes are different, the idea is the same, tell someone not to think about monkeys and what do they think about? Tell yourself to quit thinking and you start thinking about thinking!
SO so true. Thanks for the advice Sharon. Meditation may just do the trick, however hard that may be...
=)
Yikes! I can see that I'm not the only one...
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